What this (new) daddy has learned:

• Always have LOTS of diaper wipes handy when changing diapers.
• When changing a diaper get more than one clean diaper out. Baby may use two or three during one changing.
• Do not be proud of how fast baby can drink her bottle. It can come back up about 60 times faster than it went down. Burp often. (The baby, not yourself)
• Baby poop can actually be projected at a distance of 1-2 feet. It's important to change the diaper as fast as possible.
• When all my friends said I wouldn't get any more sleep, I didn't expect this! I do get sleep, just in tiny increments. (during my favorite TV shows, sitting straight up, while my wife and I are having an important conversation...)
• Something about multitasking, but I can't remember right now while typing this.
• Time is irrelevant. After feeding her for 27 minutes I could have sworn only 7-8 minutes passed. I had no idea that looking into your child's eyes would be like this. I don't think I ever looked up.
• A diaper bag will not hold enough wipes and diapers when going to the doctor's office. Apparently getting a rectal temperature stimulates bowel movements.
• When playing Halo while baby is sleeping, try not to yell out in surprise. (a friend demonstrated this with his daughter just before Katie was born)
• Other drivers act crazy when the baby is in the car. The first time we went driving with her there was a car tailgating us from 200 yards back!
• I've heard of a tendency for fathers to be blind to their overprotectiveness. I haven't noticed this in myself.
• Babies do not like medicine drops up the nose.
• If you don't already own one, buy a digital camera. (Don't forget the batteries.)
• A crying baby can make you late for work.
• A sleeping baby can make you late for work. (the staring factor)
• Who cares about being late for work?
• Do not expect a sleeping person to think. Don't wake someone up and say "it's the first feeding." My response was "what are you talking about? She's been feeding for the last three weeks!" Just tell the sleeping person what to do. (example: "Your turn! Get up and feed the baby!") It may sound rude in polite society, but a baby crying for food at three a.m. is not part of polite society.
• Baby monitors are cool. But here is some advice on how not to get into trouble:
  • Remember that all our friends, relatives and spouse may be gathered around the receiver while you are upstairs making up lyrics to nursery rhymes and songs you haven't learned yet.
  • Turn off the reciever when walking into the baby's room. It's physically impossible to find the off witch while be assaulted by the loud wail of feedback and trying to use both feet to keep the cat out of the room. It's much easier to throw the receiver back down the hallway to get it away fast, but try not to hit your wife.
• A crying baby can get you out of a ticket.
• You know how most people pick up a piece of clothing & smell it to see if it is clean or dirty? DO NOT DO THIS with a bib! Baby formula stinks, but nobody should experience the smell of spoiled baby formula!

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